两点换三点 2011-7-28 11:24
7月28日 笑林广记
1. 一监生过国学门,闻祭酒方盛怒两生而治之,问门上人者:“然则打欤?罚欤?镦锁欤?”答曰:“出题考文。”生即咈然曰:“咦,罪不至此。”
评论:好比现在的学生 不怕挨打挨骂 就怕考试
2.一生赁僧房读书,每日游玩,午后归房,呼童取书来。童持《文选》,视之,曰:“低。”持《汉书》,视之,曰:“低。”又持《史记》,视之,曰:“低。”僧大诧曰:“此三书,熟其一,足称饱学,俱云低,何也?”生曰:“我要睡,取书作枕头耳。”
评论:当年枕头低 哥也用大部头的名著在底下垫着睡过
3. 有富翁同友远出,泊舟江中。偶散步上岸,见壁间题“江心赋”三字,错认“赋”字为“贼”字,惊欲走匿。友问故,指曰:“此处有贼。”友曰:“赋也,非贼也。”其人曰:“赋(富)便赋了,终是有些贼形。”
评论:这个是嘲笑暴发户的吗?
4.富翁子不识字,人劝以延师训之。先学“一”字是一画,次“二”字二画,次“三”字三画。其子便欣然投笔,告父曰:“儿已都晓字义,何用师为?”父喜之,乃谢去。一日,父欲招万姓者饮,命子晨起治状,至午不见写成。父往询之,子患曰:“姓亦多矣,如何偏姓万。自早至今,才得五百画着哩!」
评论:笨蛋 您要是用扫帚蘸墨写 不一会就完了 就是苦了看字的人啊
5.一人问曰:“相公尊姓?”曰:“姓杨。”其人曰:“既是羊,为甚无角?”士怒曰:“呆狗入出的!”那人错会其意,曰:“嗄!”
评论:这段跟说相声似的 逗死了
上帝是谁 2011-7-28 12:13
前面4个都看的明白,就是第五个说“呆狗入出的!”,不明白是什么意思,楼下知道的告知一声。
niuniu-007 2011-7-28 13:07
中国古代的笑话博大精深,值得好好挖掘。第五个也好懂,那人以为姓“羊”的人告诉他:没有角的羊是狗日出来的。
罂粟花开美而毒 2011-7-28 13:14
刚看见这个名字我还以为是哪个相声大师写的个人传记呢 原来是笑话 还好我文言文好
h541488458 2011-9-2 01:58
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xzclf12 2011-9-2 10:04
1、说回来,现在的孩子怕考试吗,感觉现在孩子比以前更难教了。
2、中国文言文用字太简练了,领会错意思实在是司空见惯
3、估计那富人不是什么正道富人,老是怕贼,干脆躲家里得了
4、蛮老的笑话,不过楼主的评论蛮有新意的,用扫帚,简单,不过用扫帚我估计也要十来下,他纸估计不够了。
5、我文言功底有限,揣摩了10分钟不明白什么意思,有待楼主不胜赐教
两点换三点 2011-9-2 12:07
回复 6楼 的帖子
一个人问:“先生姓什么啊”
“姓杨”
“姓羊怎么没长角呢?”
被问的很生气 就骂道:“狗娘养的!”
那人理解错了 就说“哦!”
nxinwuxian 2011-9-2 15:13
一个人问:“先生姓什么啊”
“姓杨”
“姓羊怎么没长角呢?”
被问的很生气 就骂道:“狗娘养的!”
那人理解错了 就说“哦!”
才看明白