查看完整版本: 家有贱男系列十一篇

家有贱男系列十一篇

人物： 一、大外甥.摩摩.国小四年级.好色. 二、小外甥.珠珠.幼稚园小班.好色. 三、阿姨.我.不太好色！

1."姨！为什么我每天早上睡醒.弟弟都会站起来？"摩摩问！
我说："那是一种生理反应.每个男生都这样！"
只见他犹豫了一下.说："那为什么爸爸晚上和妈妈上床前.又还没睡.
他的弟弟也站起来呢？"
一个不知如何回答的阿姨留。

评：摩摩对周围事物的观察仔细入微啊。

2. "姨！为什么爸爸每次骑在妈妈身上.妈妈都一直叫？！
而哥哥骑我身上.我都不会叫？"珠珠问.
我实在不知如何向他解释.于是我骗他：
"因为要男生骑女生.女生才会叫！！"
他想了一下.居然灵机一动向我说：
"那姨你给我骑一下.然后你叫给我看.好不好？！"
一个被性骚扰的阿姨留。

评: 这个小鬼居然敢性骚扰自己的阿姨，汗。

3."姨！这是什么？"珠珠问.
"这是保险套！"我说！
"为什么爸爸妈妈有这个？"他又问！
我说："因为他们必须用这个！"
"那为什么我和哥哥没有？"
我答："因为你们还用不到！！"
"那为什么你也没有？"
我说："因为没人和我用！！"
"那为什么外公外婆也没有？"
"唉！因为他们已经不能用了！！！"我说！

评：打破砂锅问到底的精神发挥到了极致。

4."姨！为什么喝下去的水是冰的.尿出来的是热的？"摩摩问.
"因为人有体温啊！！"我答.
"那为什么吃下去的是食物.拉出来的是屎？"他又问！
"因为那是食物经过吸收.所残留下的废物啊！"我说！
"那又为什么爸爸射xx到妈妈那.生下来的却是弟弟呢？"
这次我真的不知怎么掰了！

评：对这个问题的解释，真的不好回答。

5.一日摩摩放学回来.垂头丧气的和我说.他今天被老师打了！
我问他为何被打？他说因为迟到！！
我说迟到就打人？！这也太严格了吧？！你有没有和老师理论呢？
他说有！！我问他怎和老师说的？
他说：老子又不靠你吃饭？！你凶个屁啊？

评：小孩子的理论可以汗到一批老湿的。

6."姨！一个女生若主动抓男生的手.是不是表示她喜欢他？"摩摩问.
"干嘛问这？你今天被女生抓手啦？！"我说.
"是啊！我一直想甩开她的手.她还一面抓.一面说不要这样嘛！"
我心想：天啊！！现在女孩子也未免太主动了吧？！于是我问：
"那她是在什么情形下抓你的手？"
他说："我想掀开她裙子.看她今天穿什么颜色的内裤.于是她就抓住我的手！
她真的喜欢上我了吗？"

评：这个小孩的智力真TM的高啊，居然这样搞。

7.一日傍晚.摩摩躺在床上写功课.只见唠叨的外婆(我妈妈)冲进来.
冲著摩摩破口大骂："要死了耶！讨债啊！又给我躺在床上写功课？！
眼睛等等就写瞎了！！还不赶快出来吃"断头饭"？！要死了！！千杀老子！
一天到晚叫人操心......"
只见摩摩皱个眉头.沈默了许久.一面摇头.一面说：
"唉！姜是老的贱！"

评：最后一句无语了，对自己前辈居然这样。

8.一日摩摩问我："姨！调整型内衣真的可以使平坦的胸部.
变得比较大吗？
"听说好像是！你没事问这干嘛？"我说.
"我想求人不如求己！"他回答！
"求人不如求己？这和内衣有啥关系？"我持疑的问！
"因为我每次想摸我们班女生"胸部".她们都不肯！
我想乾脆自己来长两粒.这样以后就不用看人脸色！
想什么时候摸.就什么时候摸！你看！我多有骨气！！
那姨！你买一件给我穿好不好？"
各位网友！你说我到底是该买还是不该买给他！？

评：天啊！“求人不如求己”，有这样求己的么？

９．过了几天.摩摩又跑来问我：
"姨！我想还是不行！因为若长在自己身上.虽然摸的到.
但是吸不到！。这样还是不行啊！"
他刚一讲完.居然被外婆(我妈妈)听到.我妈妈给他一个白眼！
然后说："那你不会插一跟吸管就吸到了！"
我想这次我不仅对摩摩绝望！更对我妈妈寒心！

评：对“妈妈无奈啊”，居然跟这个小孩恶心。

１０．一日，摩摩很好奇的问我："姨！什么叫交配？"
"嗯.....就是公的和母的生小孩！"
"喔！那什么是繁殖呢？"他又问.
"就是生小孩嘛！"
"那又什么是口交呢？！"他再问.
天啊！我心想居然连这词都知道！好吧！反正骗他也不是第一次！
于是我说："喔！意思就是用嘴吧和人"交谈.沟通！"
"那肛交又是什么？！"他还是一脸迷惑的追问.
我心想.反正刚才也已经骗他了.骗人就骗到底吧：
"喔！你说肛交啊！！就是在浴缸里洗澡嘛！"
过了几天.我看见摩摩写了一篇作文.题目是"我的家庭".
正在欣赏之际.居然发现里面有一段惊人之语！
"我有一个幸福的家庭....由于爸爸妈妈的努力"交配".于是"繁殖"出我
我和弟弟的感情很好.每天我都在浴室帮他"肛交"！我们一面洗澡一面"口交"
因为我们总是在厕所玩太久.于是妈妈就会走进来向我们"口交"！
好让我们快点结束玩耍！！我的家庭真幸福......"

评：惊人之作，来自我的教育，我都无语了。

１１．"姨！我今天被校长罚站！"摩摩很沮丧的对我说.
"你到底又做了什么见不得人的事？"我好奇的问.
"没有啊！！只是我们学校校庆.我们班表演快打旋风.
我正好抽到表演"春丽"！我一演完.就被罚站司令台！"
我纳闷的说："春丽？！是女生？唉！男生演女生有啥大不了！
你们校长也未免太保守了吧？！你是不是还做了什么丢脸的事？"
"没有啊！我只不过想表演的逼真一点.于是就偷妈妈的黑胸罩戴在
头上.假装春丽头上的两个髻！我觉得挺漂亮的！谁知一出场
就被校长叫到司令台罚站！！校长还一面骂.一面摸我的髻说：
嗯.挺大的！少说也有36...明天叫你妈妈来学校一趟！"

评：唉，害校长遐想了，小孩子想法就是牛。

[[i] 本帖最后由 charleszch 于 2011-6-1 13:58 编辑 [/i]]

看了让人遐想无限啊，悲剧的阿姨，谢谢楼主分享。

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