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查看完整版本: 笑话四则

cmddx 2011-5-30 08:34

笑话四则

1、 快过年了,单位发了一箱饮料和30 斤大米。
     女同事力气小,搬不动,叫男同事帮忙送到她家楼下。
     她对男同事说:“你在楼下等我,我上去看看,要是我老公在,我就叫他下来搬。如果他不在,那就麻烦你帮我搬上去哈。”
     过了一会儿,女同事站在7楼阳台上朝楼下喊:“我老公不在家,你上来吧!”
       闻听此言,楼上楼下的邻居都跑到阳台上来看,搞得男同事上也不是,走也不是。
     女同事以为男同事没听见,又大声喊道:“你赶紧上来吧,我老公真不在家!”
     男同事顿时面红耳赤,想给女同事打电话给叫她别喊,刚掏出手机,女同事又喊:“你不用给你老婆打电话,我不会耽误你更多时间,完事就让你走。”
     男同事气得差点昏过去,提起饮料和大米急忙上楼。
     刚走到6楼,就听到楼上又喊了一声:“我已经把门打开了,进门记得右边是卧室,左边是厨房。”
男同事当场晕倒在地,口吐白沫,不省人事……

评论:看来说话也得注意方式呀,被人误解了可就尴尬了

2、公园一对恋人,女撒娇说牙痛,男吻之说不痛了,一会又说脖子痛,男又吻之,女又说不痛了,旁边一老太太见此对小伙说:真神了,你能治痔疮不?

评论:包治百病,不过估计小伙子不会做老太太的买卖的!换了美女可就不好说了。


3、前两年的事,那时刚实行刷卡,到了一个站台,看到上来一个个子很高挑的女子,她的ic卡可能是放在牛仔裤后面的兜的,所以一上车就轻轻地把屁股往刷卡机上一靠,"滴" 一声后就进车箱了。
这个女子后面跟着个老大娘,个不高,她就觉的奇怪,怎么只要屁股往那玩意上一靠就能乘车了,所以她一上车就尽力掂起脚板,使劲把屁股也往刷卡机上靠,靠了几次也没成功,这时,司机发话了, "大娘, 你在干吗,抓紧投币上车 啊"。
大娘说:那个姑娘不是把屁股往这儿一靠就能乘车了吗",呵呵,原来是这么回事, 司机哭笑不得,只能跟他解释, 人家姑娘用的是ic卡,但大娘不懂什么叫 ic卡,她仍跟司机纠缠,"你这个小伙子也太不厚道了,人家漂亮姑娘跟你撅撅屁股你就让人家进了, 我老太婆跟你撅了这么多次屁股,你反到不让我进,你到底什么意思"。
车箱里的人都笑了起来, 司机被他弄的也下不了台, 只能挥挥让她上去.

评论:撅撅屁股真的可以免费乘车么?

4、老总打电话给秘书: 这几天我陪你去北京玩玩,你准备一下
秘书打电话给老公: 这几天我要和老总去北京开会
老公打电话给情人: 这几天我老婆不在家,陪我
情人打电话给辅导学生: 这几天老师有事,停课
学生打电话给爷爷: 这几天不上课,爷爷你陪我玩
爷爷给秘书打电话: 北京去不了了,孙子要我陪
秘书给老公打电话: 老总突然有事不去北京开会了
老公给情人打电话: 老婆不走了,下次再说
情人给辅导学生打电话: 这几天照常上课!!!
学生给爷爷打电话: 555老师说这几天照常上课
爷爷给秘书打电话:还是去北京吧,你准备准备

评论:因果循环呀,佛曰:不可说,不可说

hujialb 2011-5-30 08:51

不错的小笑话,虽然都是老的,看过。但说情人还的老的好。
笑话还是老的妙啊。
1、女孩子说话一定要含蓄,特别是结婚了的女人要小心。
2、公共场合不太适合做医生。
3、、老太太说的有道理啊,让她上。我强烈支持!
4、看了这个故事,让我想起小时候听的关于山上的庙和一个小和尚的故事,你知道的哦。
   从前啊,山上有个庙,庙里有个老和尚在和小和尚讲故事。从前啊,山上有个庙,庙里有个老和尚在和小和尚讲故事。。。。。。

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学会放弃 2011-7-12 12:45

这个笑话蛮有趣的说,比较隐晦的色色小笑话
1、这个是言者无心,听者有意。生活中确实有很多这样的事情发生的,只是必须在特定的情景中。当然,碰到一帮色狼邻居还有这个心虚的男同事就没辙了,哈哈!还是晕倒的好,否则以后要说不清楚了!
2、反过来比较好,哈哈,如果小XX疼会怎么样呢,哈哈!有趣的!
3、老太太说得是有道理,人家美女可以我怎么就不行啊,她年轻的时候也是有姿色的好瓦!
4、 这个就是现实生活啊,没办法,一环套一环,变成死循环了,哈哈!

minjun2046 2011-7-12 12:51

最后那一个很有道理啊,循环就是这么循环的,
呵呵。俗话说一切皆有定数。
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